So is this what they meant by “The Mark of the Beast”??

This is what happens when I get the munchies. I go to the store. And I wanted some chicken breasts. Because, I mean, who doesn’t love chicken breasts?

But it wasn’t until I got home, unpacked my groceries, and started to put all my perishables away …

I noticed something about the chicken.

Something rather … concerning.

Take a look at the price tag.

I’m not worried about the cooking directions … and I’m not worried about the unit price. $3.99 / pound for chicken is a little high, but then again, I’m going to a butcherie rather than to the grocery store. I’m sure if I bought some chicken at the local farmer’s market, the price might be a bit lower – you know, that old “farm to table” thing.

I’m not talking about the unit price.

Look at the total price.

Don’t make me crack open the Bible and read Revelations Chapter 13, verses 11-18 to you. Too late.

“¹¹Then I saw another beast rising out of the earth. It had two horns like a lamb and it spoke like a dragon.¹²It exercises all the authority of the first beast in its presence, and makes the earth and its inhabitants worship the first beast, whose mortal wound was healed.¹³It performs great signs, even making fire come down from heaven to earth in front of people,¹⁴and by the signs that it is allowed to work in the presence of the beast it deceives those who dwell on earth, telling them to make an image for the beast that was wounded by the sword and yet lived.¹⁵And it was allowed to give breath to the image of the beast, so that the image of the beast might even speak and might cause those who would not worship the image of the beast to be slain.¹⁶Also it causes all, both small and great, both rich and poor, both free and slave, to be marked on the right hand or the forehead,¹⁷so that no one can buy or sell unless he has the mark, that is, the name of the beast or the number of its name.¹⁸This calls for wisdom: let the one who has understanding calculate the number of the beast, for it is the number of a man, and his number is 666.”

Yeah. That.

Well, it’s too late to do anything about this.

But … yeah. It’s a coincidence. And even if there was some sinister connection to the “Mark of the Beast,” there’s actually no way to determine how the “Mark of the Beast” is truly determined. A long time ago, someone presumed that Ronald Reagan was the Beast, in that “RONALD” = 6, “WILSON” = 6, and “REAGAN” = 6.

But equating numerology as fact doesn’t really work. I mean, unless you’re Taylor Swift, where everything with her has a connection to the number 13. And by the same token, “Weird Al” Yankovics’ songs have a connection to the number 27.

You want something else to ponder? Nostradamus. Allegedly Nostradamus wrote thousands of poems that allegedly predicted everything from the JFK assassination to the 9/11 terror attack, from World War II (including allegedly mentioning Hitler’s name) to the death of Diana, Princess of Wales. But again, Nostradamus’ poems and writings were written so abstractly and flowery that you could theoretically shoehorn any modern historic event into a Nostradamus poem – after translating the poem from its native language into some sort of English extract.

These are the same nuggets of numerical nonsense that had people believing that the Beatles left clues to their most devoted fans that Paul McCartney was dead; the clues were there, he died in a car crash, there’s an imposter (named either William Campbell or Billy Shears) who has impersonated McCartney to this day. Listen to the backwards messages and deep, deep vocals in “Strawberry Fields Forever” and “Rain” and “Revolution No. 9” and all the rest. It’s gotta be true, damn it!

And if you believe that, then you also have to postulate that Elvis Presley is not dead. For how could he die on August 16, 1977 when the numbers 8, 16 and 1977 add up to 2001, which was the theme music for his entrances at his concerts (2001: A Space Odyssey, a/k/a Thus Sprach Zarathustra)? It’s a coincidence that proves everything!

Okay, I need some aspirin. You start falling down these gopher holes, the next thing that comes out is QAnon horseshit.

The fact of the matter is, 666 was just a price tag on a pack of chicken. If I postulate that 666 is the mark of the beast, what happens when I purchase a box of pasta for $4.20? Should I worry that the pasta contains mind-altering chemicals? Or if I go to an event and the price tag, after tax and fees, becomes $69.69? (cue Beavis and Butt-head giggles).

Yeah, yeah, I know, last September I tried to equate the numbers on my odometer with my location at that instance. But come on,it was for a blog post, I deserve at least a pass on that one!

I’m only a couple of miles away from the strip club.

I mean … after all of this … the only thing I could say about the chicken breast, after I cooked it, was that it tasted heavenly.

So maybe I had the photo upside down, and the “Mark” was actually 99.9?

Then again, there’s really only one instance where that works.

Okay, it should have been 99.9, but … I missed it by THAT much. Sorry about that, Chief.